Welcome to the "THUNDA DOME" Ladies...Many enter here but few survive!!! With that said let's get this PARTY started!
As you read through my profile please do not confuse the humor and sarcasm with a lack of maturity and or sincerity I feel that all profiles sound the same and decided to have fun with mine. I don't expect to be everyone's perfect fit on this site with regards to my looks, humor and or MY, SWEET, SWEET DANCE MOVES! I am totally fine with that, but in the same respect you may or may not be the right fit for me as well. I am in no rush to jump on the first person out there that shows an interest and just "BANGERANG" my brains out. I am patiently waiting for the right one.
Also this site keeps asking me for a link to my Instagram Account so I can impress you with all my pointless Pics of People You Don't Know, The Sh!tty Food I eat and Drink and the numerous Creepy Close-ups of Me Cuddling My Tiny Little Dog showing you my softer side.
And sadly I will not be posting pics of my cars, my sweet collection of ED Hardy T-Shirts and Hats or of me shirtless in my bathroom giving you "2 TICKETS TO THE GUNS SHOW" showcasing my ALPHA MALENESS in all it GLORY
To be clear I am not here just looking for a little TICKLE ME ELMO ACTION EITHER! (I KNOW SHOCKER!!!) I am attractive and confident enough in myself to pursue that outside of the internet if I choose too. I'm not QUASI MOTO WITH A HUMP...Ringing The Bell in The Tower!
Some things I am looking for are?
MUTUAL ATTRACTION:
This hits many area's from intelligence, personality, humor and of course physical attraction. I am definitely turned on by a sense of humor, being able to joke, laugh and have a battle of wits with a girl is extremely sexy. But BIG
POINTS if you happen to also make my MALE PARTS BEEP! and are "SPANK BANK WORTHY" :-D Hopefully you find me equally as attractive on all those same levels and I too MAKE YOUR LADY BITS TINGLE!!! Let’s be honest here ladies! Attraction is IMPORTANT! We click on profiles initially because of that very fact and it’s up to us to write something in our profiles that sets us apart from all the other people on this crazy little site.
MENTAL CONNECTION :
Can you hold an intelligent conversation on important issues and subjects without me wanting to Shoot Myself in the Face? Do we think alike? Can you challenge me on another level? Can I learn something from you? There is absolutely nothing worse than being with a person that is uninteresting, doesn't get you and are so boring that you would literally GNAW your arm off, develop a serious DRUG HABIT or fake your own DEATH just to escape them. SOME LADIES I HAVE MET MAKE ME WISH THIS SITE HAD A WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM.
REMEMBER LADIES...YOU NEVER GO FULL RETARD! Mmmmm...K!!!
COMMON INTERESTS:
Do we enjoy the same things and interests? Share similar views on issues and subjects in life. I don't expect to see eye to eye on everything we enjoy in our relationship but I want you to share in my passions as I do yours. You may not always enjoy going to see a football game, camping out or hanging for a weekend at Comic Con? And I may not like or share in your love of Antiquing, Shopping, Yard Sales or Date night watching 2 FN HOURS of the local production of the VAGINA MONOLOGUES hahaha (don't ask?)
WHEW!!!...Holy Long Profile BATMAN! You're probably thinking "SWEET BABY JESUS" this guy sure sets the bar really low for his dates. :-D
And finally! If I look at your profile It’s probably because initially "YOU MADE IT MOVE!" but I assure you I do read every word and not just look at the pictures.
LAWD knows I can't get enough of the Dirty Bathroom Mirror shots, Close-up in the Car shots, The Duck Face shots or my personal favorites Taken From The ceiling Enhanced Cleavage shots. WTF?
WELL PLAYED TITS MAGEE!!! You have BREASTESES and THEY'RE SPECTACULAR! HOORAY!!! Some of you are even MOTORBOAT WORTHY... I GET IT!
Well that’s all for this part of the TOUR if you made it this far I congratulate you. If you venture further then do so at your OWN RISK. Even if we are not a good match I hope you were at least mildly entertained and had a laugh or two. Thank you for visiting and for the read…Good luck in your searches :-)
What I’m doing with my life
"Finding out that there is so much more to it than just being really, really ridiculously good looking, and I am going to find out what that is?"
I’m really good at
KISSING and MAKING THE SEXY TIME BABY!
"My sweet Num-Chuck skills... Bow Hunting skills... Computer Hacking skills... Cause Girls only want Boyfriends who have great skills!"
"KRUMPING & FIST PUMPING" When I feel it I do It!
HUMOR AND SARCASM!Its spews out uncontrollably like Tourettes!
GOING DOWNTOWN... NAWWW MEAN GURL??? :-D
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't know about favorite book but most influential in my life was...
Your Body and You (moms gave it to me at 10) scared the hell out of me, but I learned a lot about my male parts and that it's ok to have certain feelings but not to act on all of them as that might come off as creepy and off putting! 0.o
The six things I could never do without
Well besides the basics like Water, Food & SPANKINGS? Hmmm? Well I guess it would be, but not limited to...
1) Berry Flavored Skittles - Cause those are just F@%king delicious!
2) My Orange Crocs - I know! Contain your Orgasms!
3) My Leather Fanny Pack - Let's be honest ladies not only are they fun, functional & stylish they are TIMELESS.
You can carry all kinds of important stuff in them, like your Chapstick, Some Gum...Your Virginity! :-)
4) My Humor - It would be cruel not to share my Sarcasm and Wit with the world and those closest to me. Humor Is Sexy Baby!
5) Grey Goose Vodka - Cause it too is F@ckin Delicious! And honestly my friends just aren't as fun without.
6) Footie Pajamas, Vaniila Scented Candles, My Beta Max collection of SWEDISH 70's Porn, My VHS copy of XANADU and of course my Michael Bolton Greatest hits Tape Collections.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What life would be like if I wasn't this "Really, Really Ridiculously Good Looking?"
"TO NEVER TRUST A BIG BUTT AND A SMILE"
That I sure hope this cream makes the Burning and Itching go away in the next 4-6 weeks? :-(
"That Mama says Astrology is a Tool for the Devil"
mostly though that...
"IT RUBS THE LOTION ON IT'S SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!" 0.o
On a typical Friday night I am
Chillin with a couple of 40's in the trailer after a hard day of working the Can Crusher down at the Recycling Center.
Probably PUNCH DANCING MY RAGE OUT!
But...
Most likely I'm home ALONE wrapped in my Snuggie crying my eyes out, listening to AIR SUPPLY and getting Sh!t Faced on Snow Peak Peach Flavored Boone's. :-(
You should message me if
IF THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU TO!!!
WAIT! WHAT?? YOU SHOULD NOT CONTACT ME! ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I AM SOME RANDOM DUDE FROM THE INTERNET. YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I COULD BE SOME “STRANGER DANGER” DUDE "LIVING IN HIS VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER".
GIRL LOCK YOUR DOORS, HIDE YO PETS, HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO GRAND MA MA AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
UNLESS...
You happen to have a serious Mental Disorder, are on Medications, have a Criminal Record, a Drinking and Drug problem, are on PAROLE, are living alone with 20 CATS, if you see DEAD PEOPLE!, You use the word HELLA!, suffer from BITCHY RESTING FACE or if you are just needy, whiny, lazy, smelly, hairy, have no teeth, are ROCKIN GRANNY PANTIES WITH A 70's BUSH! and are completely INSANE!
THEN HOLLA!!!
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